Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Frequently Asked Questions

Why are you adopting?
We are adopting because we cannot have biological children. We do not feel the need to elaborate any further on the specifics of that statement. We feel that God has placed a longing in our hearts to be parents. After prayerful consideration and research we felt led to adoption. We believe the concept of adoption is beautiful and can be an avenue to display the gospel. We feel the concept of adoption is especially relatable to all Christians, because we understand we are adopted into the body of Christ.

Why are you choosing domestic adoption?
We have been able to speak personally with couples who have adopted/are adopting both internationally as well as with couples who have adopted/are adopting domestically. Either path involves significant risk. Either path involves helping a child find a loving forever home. Either path involves having a great deal of patience.  There are many specifics that I could lay out in comparing the options, but the underlying factor for our decision was that we wanted to experience as much of our first child’s life as possible. As terrifying and sleep depriving as they may be, we want to experience as many of those precious newborn parenting moments as we can. By pursuing a domestic adoption we will be a part of our child's life from the day they leave the hospital. We do plan on having more than one child and very well may choose a different path next time.

Why did you choose Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC)?
We received a personal referral from a couple that used CAC. We met this couple at our church after they became our Sunday school teachers. After speaking with this couple about their experience, we researched further on our own. We conducted a phone interview with our personal consultant Tracie. We talked about it and prayed about, but we almost immediately felt comfortable with CAC.

Why did you choose Lifeline adoption for your home study?
We knew of Lifeline before we even knew we were adopting. Two life-long friends of ours are currently employed at Lifeline. Something else that drew us to Lifeline was that they are an openly Christian organization. We feel confident they are efficient, thorough, easy to get in contact with, and kind.

Why are you using two separate organizations for consulting and home study?
The home study process has to be performed by an in-state accredited social worker. Our consultants are just that, adoption consultants, not social workers. Also, Christian Adoption Consultants are not based in Alabama. Lifeline adoption is an adoption agency based in Birmingham, AL that employs several social workers. Lifeline offers contract services that include the home study and post-adoption home visits.

What race/age/gender will your child be?
We do have the opportunity to specify certain attributes of our child. We have decided that we have absolutely no preference for gender and we are open to discuss various races as situations arise. God willing, we will get to take our child home shortly after they are born. The timing of when we will get to return home with our child depends on the state we adopt from. In general, it should be no longer than 30 days. We will not know the specifics until we are matched with a birth mother.

How much will your adoption cost?
We only have a broad estimate of around $35,000. The price of the adoption will depend mostly on the agency with which the birth mother is involved. Each agency has an initial agency fee of around $10,000 - $12,000. This initial agency fee is typically paid upon matching with a birth mother. We will also be responsible for paying the birthmother’s medical expenses as well as helping her with day to day living expenses. These expenses are estimated by the birth mother's agency. These costs are typically between $5,000 and $10,000. This money is held by the agency and paid on the mother’s behalf. For instance, the agency would pay her power bill directly or her doctor’s bill directly. The birth mother will not handle this money directly. Once the adoption is finalized the second agency fee is due. The second agency fee is usually an additional $10,000 - $12,000. There may be variations from this general standard, and we will update you about the specifics of our match as we find out.

How long does the entire process usually take?
The consultant firm we are using, Christian Adoption Consultants (CAC), consistently match their clients within a 12-18 month range. We have read of several of their success stories just within the last year that fit well within this estimation. Two of their previous clients are our Sunday school teachers. They began with CAC in February of 2009 and brought baby Cooper home in September of 2010. We are optimistic we could bring home a baby, Lord willing, by next Christmas (2013).

How will you come up with that much money in one year?
That is a great question! We have faith that God will provide a way. We are planning to utilize fund raisers, grants and savings. We will update you about these as they come. If you have the ability and feel led you can donate directly to our adoption fund through PayPal here on the blog.

What are the main steps involved in the process?
Once we decided on adoption, and then decided to pursue a domestic adoption, we started researching the process. We were overwhelmed and thought we could use help to guide us through the process. We made the decision to use a consulting agency.  We knew we would prefer Christian consultants. We found Christian Adoption Consultants through a direct referral from our Sunday school teachers. First big step was to pay their consulting fee and sign a contract with them. We did this on July 18, 2012. Next step is to complete a home study. The home study process has to be completed through an agency located in our home state. So, we will be contracting Lifeline adoption agency for our home study. The home study involves having a social worker meet with us at our home. They will conduct interviews with us, go over our finances and verify we have a safe place to bring home a child. We will also have to provide paperwork such as our birth certificates, background checks, physical exams etc. They will compile this into a final report. This final report will be utilized by Christian Adoption Consultants and placed into a family profile. Ultimately once this family profile is complete it will be sent out to at least five agencies located around the United States. We will then wait to be matched with a birth mother. Once matched, we pay our first agency fee to our birth mother's agency. Then we review paperwork and contracts for helping the birth mother with her expenses. Next, we wait for delivery day! We may or may not communicate with the birth mother. Communication will primarily be at the birthmother’s discretion. Once our birth mother is in labor we will fly to her.Once at the hospital, we will go through a legal process/paperwork to be able to take our child from the hospital and then across state lines. We will pay the final agency fee once the adoption is finalized. Finally, there will be a couple of post-adoption visits from the social worker that performed our home study. This is a general idea and may vary some depending on our birth mother's agency and the state the agency is located in. As we know specifics we will update.

Will the child most likely have medical problems?
Our child may or may not have medical problems. We will only know of medical problems that can be diagnosed in-utero. We are open to discuss specific situations that arise and will evaluate them on a case-by-case basis.


Will you know/meet the birth mother?
We will most likely speak with the birth mother, at least, over the phone. Communication will primarily be at the birthmother’s discretion. Often agencies encourage adopting couples to obtain 1-800 numbers at a low monthly cost. This provides a way for the birth mother's to make contact. The 800 number protects the adoptive parent’s location and personal information. Sometimes birthmother’s do want to meet face-to-face. These situations can be tedious and we will update you as we have specific information about our birth mother so you can be in prayer for us and her.


Will you maintain a relationship with the birth mother after the adoption?
Again, this will depend on the specifics of our adoption and our birth mother. The specifications of post adoption communication will be a part of the adoption contract. We will be hoping for a partially open adoption. We will not be disclosing our address, last name or direct contact information. We will be glad to send pictures to the agency along with an update letter. These specifics will all be negotiated into a contract. 


What can our friends/family do to help?
Please be in prayer for us. If you have the ability and feel led to donate we will be forever grateful. If you can participate in any of our fundraisers please let us know. We will be in need of consistent encouragement. This process can be draining and long. We know there will be many ups and downs.

Are you worried about what will happen when your child turns 18?
I do not think we are any more worried than most parents about the thought of parenting teenagers. We know that we plan on raising our child(ren) in a Christian home with unconditional love and support. We pray God helps us raise God-fearing, loving, productive, respectful and wise human beings. If our children chose to pursue finding their biological parents we will gladly support them.
"Teach a youth about the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it."   Proverbs 22:6

When do you plan to tell the child that he/she is adopted?
We plan to tell the child from as early in their lives as they can understand. We believe their adoption story will provide a unique avenue to begin sharing the gospel with them. We may not be adopted in the exact same sense as our child will be, but we can share how we are so happy to be adopted into the body of Christ. We will explain to our child how grateful we are that God allowed us to be his/her parents.

If you have any further questions please feel free to contact us. We have a ‘contact us’ tab at the top of the blog. Hope you are all doing well.

3 comments:

  1. So happy to read about your plans. Please know you are in my thoughts and prayers each and every day, as you begin your incredible journey! In loving support, Mom/Miss Chris

    ReplyDelete
  2. So excited for y'all! I will continue to follow your journey. I have a few boxes of baby/ toddler clothes if y'all would like them for your yard sale. Just shoot me an e-mail or let me know at church!

    -Caroline

    ReplyDelete
  3. Caroline that would be great! We would gladly take the clothes off your hands. Just let us know when/where we can pick them up. Thanks!

    ReplyDelete